Common Sense

It's Saturday, so I gotta talk about Hooters

A man is suing Hooters for retaliation and sexual harrassment after he contacted the corporate offices to complain about a trainer.

The corporate trainer, Cat, said to the waitresses:

that they were "the ones with the pussys and you are in control because of that." Then she reportedly added, "If you need the extra money, go ahead and suck a d--- or f--- a customer if the money is right."

When 31-year-old Jarman Gray, the manager at the store, called corporate to complain, the owner of the Alabama franchise was incensed and fired him. Now Gray will most likely win his lawsuit and gets oodles of money. Possibly spending it all at Hooters.

How did this happen?

Proving you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl, Department of Child and Family Services paid a visit to Britney Spears at her Malibu home this weekend. There is no word if there is an investigation, but have you seen how she treats her baby?

More to the point, though, is how did she became such trailer trash? She's turned into that girl in the trailer park who wins the lottery. You know the kind. She's got a big house and all the money in the world, but she married a complete loser who could have been the stunt double in Joe Dirt. And K-Fed always seems to be looking for a job, he just never finds it. Just one baby later, her looks and any appeal she had to any other human being is gone and it turns out that being rich doesn't make you a suitable mother.

I really hope to God they make a Lifetime Movie out of her biography so that young girls can be warned to never imitate her.

(Ed. note: The AP picture of her in the news story is just too flattering. Instead, here is a video link from The Superficial that shows her in all her bloated glory.)

The fall of the Western world

John Cornyn's Box Turtle blogs the Top Ten Pickup Lines for Women. Not to be outdone, I have the Top Ten Things to Do to Never Get Laid.

10. Wear a t-shirt with Bob Ross' picture on it.
9. Let a girl see your Batman underwear.
8. Never try to say "Nice shoes. Wanna f---?" if you've been drinking. One too many Jack and Cokes and it comes out "Nice f---, wanna shoes?"
7. Have your mom follow you around calling you 'Nay-Nay' everytime you talk to a girl (I guess she doesn't want grandchildren... ever!)
6. Never tell a girl you would like to be wearing her underwear in the morning.
5. Don't try to have a serious conversation about which porn director you think is better unless she is in the porn business.
4. Wear a t-shirt with your face on it.
3. Admit you have a lifetime subscription to Jugs Magazine.
2. Drop out of community college, become a blogger who still lives with his parents.
1. Don't ever, ever, EVER let a girl see the shrine you've built in your closet to the hottest MILF of them all, Soledad O'Brien.

Learn from my mistakes. Tragic, tragic mistakes.

Certainly not safe for work

Luke links to an interview of porn hottie Sierra Sinn:

1a) Ok Sierra, you are Porn's most lovable, sexy Stoner, your love           of pot and porn is well known (and respected.) Everyone wants to know,           does Pot REALLY enhance sexual pleasure or does it just make it easier           to do porn?

Sierra Sinn: ****I AM A FIRM BELIEVER THAT MARIJUANA IS THE BEST THING           TO ENHANCE ANYTHING. IT JUST PUTS ME IN THE PERFECT MOOD FOR ANYTHING.           I DONT THINK IT MAKES PORN ANY EASIER, I MEAN A D--- IN THE A-- IS A           D--- IN THE A-- NO MATTER HOW MUCH POT YOU SMOKE, YA DIG?

       

I'm proud to call her one of my Myspace Friends.

But you already knew that

The Dallas Morning News reports today that... gas is really expensive!

Imagine our surprise, we thought it was cheap and have been driving around the extra-scenic route to work just so we can take advantage of that here in the Common Sense Household. I wrote a column submission for the Trib two weeks ago now called Gas is too high that has yet to run. So I'll run it now. Enjoy.

Gas is too high

By Nate Nance

Has anyone noticed that gas is still really expensive?

There was a lot of notice last September after Hurricanes Katrina and Rita that oil companies were, how shall we say, possibly gouging us and laughing all the way to the bank. But then, the price at the pump went back down slightly and people kind of forgot.

The price went back up. Today, March 24, 2005, as I'm writing this, the price at my local Shell station is $2.46 a gallon for regular unleaded. That's a lot.

I can't afford that on my meager salary. We bloggers can barely afford our fancy coffees. Having gas be that expensive is just asking for us to stay inside and investigate politicians and whatnot.

It wasn't that long ago that I was a young, idealistic high school sophomore with his first car. The very first week with Big Red (that was the name I gave my little red 1996 Grand Am), the very first week, my mom gave me a $5 bill to go to the gas station. I got half a tank of gas with that. Those were glory times, gas was $0.87 a gallon and I was able to drive around with nowhere to go. The second week, my mom made me get a job.

The point is, anything that makes me nostalgic for high school is really, really bad.

At my blog, I like to try and offer practical solutions to problems. If I just complain, I might as well be a member of the United States Congress. So what are our options? The most popular today is hybrid technology.

I was at a reception in January having a discussion with the wife of my friend who is the editor of a large-circulation national magazine based in Texas that will remain nameless. She told me that they were thinking of buying a new car and were looking at the hybrids on the market. My immediate response was "Don't waste your money."

The price of a hybrid vehicle versus the savings at the pump doesn't make it worth it for me. The price tag could be $10,000 more than a regular gas-guzzling internal combustion engine, but you'll only save $500 on gasoline in a year. The calculator on my cell phone says it would take 20 years for you to recoup that extra expense with what you would save on fuel.

What about hydrogen-powered cars? I'll answer that question with another one. Would you live next to a gas station with thousands of gallons of hydrogen stored underground? Or would you drive around with hydrogen in your fuel tank while still giving senior citizens driver's licenses? I didn't think so.

That leaves us with my favorite alternative to gasoline: Biodiesel.

Willie Nelson uses biodiesel for his tour bus. Do you really need another reason to buy a diesel truck? The only drawback so far is that you can't drive anywhere where it's cold or hot.

Okay, we don't have a ready-made alternative for our gasoline consumption. None of the new technologies can really do everything oil does for us. That doesn't mean we should give up, though. As we near peak oil production (some experts believe we've already passed that mark) gasoline is only going to get more expensive. Global warming is also a concern for many people. Al Gore's new movie, slated for release this summer, got a standing ovation at the Sundance Film Festival (a movie about Al Gore giving a slideshow presentation on global warming got a standing ovation?).

The first step in really solving the problem is for us to admit we need a solution. We can't do that if there are tax breaks for people to buy Humvees. If it were the other way around, with special treatment for people who go out on a limb and get these new technologies.

Recognizing that we may not find one solution that is perfect is the next step. We might have to try combinations of alternatives to get the full benefits with the slightest pain. Hybrid cars running on gaso-alcohol fuels or finding an additive that makes biodiesel a viable option may be the wave of the future.

I don't know. What is certain is that we have to start thinking about that future and how we're going to get there.

Can you believe I don't get paid to write gold like that?

Bill Nye the Liberal Guy?

Bill Nye the Science Guy was in Waco last night to speak as part of the MCC Distinguished Lecture Series. And I freakin' missed it because of work! My childhood hero!

I grew up watching his show, which won 28 Emmy's by the way, and it definitely instilled a love of science in me. And my sense of humor about serious topics. He made learning fun, which is more than I can say about public school.

But he wasn't here to do fun experiments. He was here to impart knowledge and discuss serious topics, including the possibility of life on Mars and Global Warming. Which led to a walkout.

I'm usually in favor of walkouts, but this one is just unAmerican. You don't walkout on Bill Nye. I guess they had good reason, though:

The Emmy-winning scientist angered a few audience members when he criticized literal interpretation of the biblical verse Genesis 1:16, which reads: “God made two great lights — the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.”

He pointed out that the sun, the “greater light,” is but one of countless stars and that the “lesser light” is the moon, which really is not a light at all, rather a reflector of light.

A number of audience members left the room at that point, visibly angered by what some perceived as irreverence.

“We believe in a God!” exclaimed one woman as she left the room with three young children.

I can almost hear her following up with "And he doesn't go for no fancy book learnin'!" Nye then went on to explain how Creationists are stupid and how the story of Noah's Ark makes no sense (Ed. note: I made that last part up, but how fortuitous is this headline this morning).

His fans did not abandon him, however. At least one member of the audience was still in awe, and I happen to know one member of the copy desk at the Trib also got his autograph.

“How cool is that, to be face to face with the man, Bill Nye?” said Jared McClure, who worked sound and video for the event. “And he’s funny, too.”

Funny, indeed.

UPDATE: Shriz-noat adds his take after reading the story.

Summer must be soon

Much like the swallows returning to Capistrano, hippies are migrating back to Crawford.

Yes, there is a march underway, the March To Redeem, from Dallas to Crawford this month. The group has already made it through Waxahachie and is stopping at every gas station to protest. They are apparently protesting the "war profiteering" of companies like Exxon Mobil, demanding they give back $7 billion in profits they gained by overbilling the government for services in Iraq. This is their march schedule (for April):

• April 1 - 10 a.m.  Press conference at ExxonMobil headquarters in Irving, Texas, then march to the Trinity River. A partial list of those appearing at the press conference:
• Texas Rep. Lon Burnham Dallas civil rights leader Rev. Peter Johnson Rev. Roy Malveaux, Beaumont, Texas Valley Reed, chief organizer, March to Redeem Campaign Maureen Haver, Jumpstart Ford Campaign Nick Mottern, Director, ConsumersforPeace.org
• April 2 - 2:30 p.m. Press conference in front of Dallas County Courthouse and Jail, then take DART to Dallas VA Hospital. 4:30 p.m. Rally at Dallas VA Hospital.
• April 3 - 10 a.m.  March south to Red Oak.
• April 4 - 10 a.m.  March south to Waxahachie. 7 p.m.  Vigil in Waxahachie commenrating the assassination of Dr. King.
• April 5 - 10 a.m.  March south to Italy. April 6 - 10 a.m.  March south to Carl's Corner. 8 p.m.  Performances by musicians and dancers.
• April 7 - 10 a.m.  March south to Hillsboro, then southwest to Aquilla Lake.
• April 8 - 10 a.m.  March to Aquilla.
• April 9 - 10 a.m.  March to Gholson.
• April 10 -10 a.m.  March to Lacy Lake View.
• April 11 -10 a.m.  March to Waco.
• April 12 -10 a.m.  March to Waco Lake.
• April 13 -10 a.m.  March to Crawford for the celebration of the 3rd Anniversary of the founding of the Crawford Peace House.

The group has been endorsed by the likes of Cindy Sheehan, which I guess is like the little tag on appliances that lets you know they've been tested and are safe to put in your home.

The Trib ran a story on Sunday (which I didn't read) in which McLennan County Commissioner Ray Meadows (a Common Sense favorite)  said: he is not surprised Bush may celebrate Easter elsewhere but that critics are getting too much credit.

“I don’t think what happened last summer has had any impact on him not coming to Crawford or to the ranch. He’s just got a lot on his plate,” Meadows said.

But since protesters opposing the Iraq war staked out the roadside near the ranch in August and hurricanes blasted the gulf Coast in August and September, Bush has not welcomed a visiting dignitary to his ranch or held a news conference on the property.

Sorry, Mr. President. I would really rather they didn't show up myself, it means the local Subway runs out of pizza and I have to go elsewhere for lunch (damn you CBS News Guy!). But I can't stop them, so we'll just to live with it.

Thanks to Jonathan Blundell for the FYI.

The CNN crawl is really helpful

When I'm up in the mornings, I tune to CNN's American Morning. I don't need no fluff journalism from Katie Couric and Matt Lauer, I'm a blogger and I need real, hard journalism. The realer and harder, the better.

And if I get up early enough, I can see stuff like this.

Plus, CNN has the crawl at the bottom of the screen that lets people know what other news stories are going on besides what the co-hosts are discussing at that moment. Today's crawl had an intersting story about a baby shower.

This is going to be fun, because I have not read the story yet, I've only seen the crawl and read the headline: Man shot as baby shower goes bad. Let's read the story together, shall we.

SPRINGFIELD, MASSACHUSETTS -- An argument at a baby shower escalated into a brawl in which one man was shot and the pregnant guest of honor was beaten with a stick, police said.

We've already gotten off to a bad start.

Three people were arrested after the fight, described by police as a "baby shower gone bad."

Police said the shooting victim got into a fight with a man, Antonio Santiago, who is dating his ex-girlfriend. The argument over whether she let their 5-year-old daughter drink beer escalated and drew in two other people, Jazz Rivas and Juan Velazquez, said Police Lt. Cheryl Claprood. Rivas, Velazquez and Santiago were arrested.

Police said Rivas is accused of caning some guests, including the 22-year-old mother-to-be.

Are we absolutely sure that this did not take place in Mississippi?

We've all been to bad baby showers. I could tell you stories about my cousin's back in 'Aught 3,' but nothing that would even compare to a shooting and caning a pregnant woman. I am willing to be the hosts will check the guest list more carefully for ex-boyfriends next time they have a baby shower, though.

Common Sense: You're source for the news that matters most in your life.

TABC buckling under pressure

Actually, it is quote "retraining" end quote some of its officers amid complaints about their program to arrest drunk people in bars, according to the Dallas Morning News. I'm being so condescending about it I actually typed quote and end quote.

Carolyn Beck, a spokeswoman for the commission, said although the program is being reviewed by the agency's Office of Professional Responsibility, "we're not stopping it."

Mr. Flores applauded commission officials Wednesday for launching the        investigation.         

"We are all in agreement that good common-sense decisions must be made by both the patrons knowing when too much to drink is enough and by the agents knowing when to arrest someone for having too much to drink," he said.

    

Ms. Beck said dozens of complaints have been received since the crackdown on public drunkenness received media attention last month. The current effort began last fall after the agency received additional funding from the Legislature to hire more than 100 new employees.

    

Legislators who oversee the commission said they support the increased emphasis on public safety, including the campaign to arrest potential drunken drivers before they get behind the wheel. But they also said recent arrests indicate the program should be reviewed this year to check for abuses and to measure its effectiveness.

Otherwise, we might potentially boot them out of office. At least they recognize that I have potential.

Just a thought, but we could toughen the penalty for actually drinking and driving, instead of  just assuming every person in a bar is ready to break the law and go for a drive. If we make the penalty steep enough for a first time offender, we won't have repeat offenders and people would think twice before doing it the first time. Just a thought.

Katie Couric: Too perky for nightly news?

I'm sure most of you have heard Katie Couric is leaving the Today Show to be the new anchor on CBS Evening News. My question is: Why her?

If we're going to have a female anchor, I would much rather see a more serious journalist take the anchor chair. Like my friend Dick, I would have picked Soledad O'Brien instead.

She certainly can handle the strains of working hard news, as she has done for CNN's American Morning, plus she's got like 10 kids and she can handle them. I totally would DVR the Evening News if she were the anchor. She's just the right amount of happy and serious when the occassion calls.

Plus, Soledad is not another perky blonde. I'm tired of the Nancy Grace, Greta van Sussterearneayen types that are doing the news. Blonde=Bad in my journalism book (available in bookstores May 13th!). Soledad is cool, she did really interesting shows on cable channels throughout her career, including CNet Central, and she's more than earned her stripes at CNN.