Enough of being serious

My problem is that I'm too serious, sometimes.

Not a problem today at Lukeisback. Pete Zaface at ADT asks which porn star you would bring home to mom; one that fits into a nice middle-class family that your mom wouldn't guess had sex on camera for money when she shakes her hand at the door.

European porn star Terri Summers says "I generally do well with moms, and with andrea's mom I actually         didn't even have to say I was a sales woman who travels a lot or something!         It might help I bring flowers and chocolate on the first visit, and help         with the dishes."

KatjaKassin asks if guys would actually be willing to date a porn star?

All this assumes that you wouldn't want your mom to know you are dating a porn star, or that being a porn star is a negative in some way. I, of course, would absolutely love to date a porn star. I would bring a porn star home to my mom and say "You won't believe what she does for a living!"

In my warped, liberal view of the world, a porn star is a desirable girlfriend. When it comes to mariage, I'm a little more picky. She has to be a hot asian porn star, preferably shorter than me, preferably wears dorky glasses like me and preferably has done anal scenes. That way I can brag to my mom that "She likes it in the butt!" Why is it so hard to find that?

I know what you're thinking. This is all some perverted thing; this is how I get my kinky sex jollies. Wrong. The truth is that I get very bored very easily and I don't want to marry someone as boring as me. I don't want to marry an insurance adjuster. I get enough of that from my hetero-lifemate Space Monkey, who works at an insurance agency for his day job.

I want to be able to ask my wife "How was your day?" and it go something like "Well, I started out giving these two guys blowjobs, then we moved on to double penetration. Then we broke for lunch before my lesbo scene." Fucking fantastic! Then I can tell her I made a joke about morning-after pills and bleeding snatches and we would laugh...

Comments

[nobody girl]

what a bullshit survey ... bring a porn star home to mom? who cares. i'll get concerned when people start bringing political bloggers home to mom.

[Nate]

That will never happen.